On getting fat and old
Do you want to know if you suffer from “Alertness Deficit Disorder” (ADD)? Then just take this simple quiz. These questions will help us to determine whether or not you suffer from this terrible affliction; the only known cure for which is caffeine. ADD takes the lives of millions of Americans, hundreds of Canadians, and a handful of Ugandans every year. If that doesn’t scare you, let’s just say that you are more susceptible than anyone else. YES, YOU! If you suffer from this disease, missing just one trip to Starbucks could be FATAL. The following series of Yes/No questions will allow us to determine your Addiction Factor(TM). Keep track of the number of Yes and No answers you get and chart yourself at the end. Remember: Prevention is the best medicine. Or was it laughter? Either way, read on.
1. Do you use coffee to escape from your problems?
2. Do you eat spoonfuls of instant coffee because it’s easier?
3. Have you ever woken up in a puddle of your own coffee?
4. Do you find that it’s easier to drink more coffee than go to sleep?
a) Have you ever drunk cold coffee?
b) Right out of the pot?
6. Do you spend more than 20% of your income on coffee and/or coffee related products?
7. Does your coffee cup resemble a beer stein?
Worshiping at altitude
Ducks and ducks
At least she’s funny